i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
