eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
