Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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