I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
