What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
