I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
