It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
