I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
