One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
