Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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