ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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