Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
