no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
