don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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