I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
