So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
