I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
