I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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