i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
