Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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