Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
