pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
