worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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