when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
