Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
