I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize