Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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