hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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