I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
