So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
