Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
