I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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