When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
