What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
