Duck Duck Cougar?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
