So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
