So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
