She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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