barbara walters just said penis...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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