At least make sure they are 18
Why
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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