officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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