I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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