I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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