Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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