The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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