He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
