one might say we're banned from that church
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
