Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
