Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize