Nicole vs. Life
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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