At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I have already put on my inside pants.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
