Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
