I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
