Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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