Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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