Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
