hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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