I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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