Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
