you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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