Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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