I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
