you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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