Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
